why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
