idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
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