you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
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