Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
