We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Randomize
