At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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