i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
