We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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