Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
