is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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