Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
