Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
