I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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