my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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