I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
