It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize