Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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