i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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