careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
