im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
