What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
