party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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