i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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