she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
