All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
