I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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