Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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