5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
