Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
