Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
