i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
