"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
