He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize