who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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