can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Randomize