She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
