nut hugger
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
