im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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