I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
