wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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