covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Randomize
