It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
