and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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