Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I need water and some morals
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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