Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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