theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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