Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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