you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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