Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
