You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
