And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
