I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
