So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
