I just cut my nipple shaving
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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