Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
