Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Do vagina's smell?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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