u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
