Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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