so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We left the knife in your bed.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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