your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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