So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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